Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The "Forget Me" Files: Disney Edition

"Disney" Edition
Round One

We all have them. Those memories parks that we wish we didn't have, the one we wish had gotten lost someplace in our mental coding but didn't. The few memories about what scared us as children or even still freak us out as adults. In some cases even things we liked as innocent children that now make us collectively stop and go "My God, That's some freaky shit".

Digging into my own personal memory banks, I give you a small list of things that fall into my own mental list of "Shit I wish I could FORGET, Disney Edition". This is by no means a full collection nor even my own photos as my parents have those and I haven't yet got the motivation to dig threw dusty boxes of ancient history, although I probably should get to that one of these days!

Tonight, I'll give your three examples of various things I WISH I could forget about various trips to Disney World. Each week I plan to present another three things which in turn wigged me out at some point in my life. There is quite a bit of materiel here to work with! So with that, let's begin with the very first set of things which come to mind...

1. The 25th Anniversary Birthday Cake Castle
(As I called it "The Barbie Barf Castle")
Image from

What in the seventh level of Dante's own hell is THIS shit? Yeah that was my reaction too the very first time my innocent childish eyes spotted the beyond pepto-bismal pink shade that Cinderella's Castle was sporting the fall of 1996.  
It was a nightmare. A monstrosity. It was Barbie throwing up her party cake after to many Comsos' in Kens convertible Porsche! The true horror of this thing can't even be explained with words or pictures, you really had to see this for yourself to understand the levels of "DEAR GOD, WHY?!" that happened. 

Hundreds of complaints happened because of this fiasco. People wanted to sue Magic Kingdom for ruining wedding photos and vacations since they didn't tell anyone the dirty trick they where playing on the general public with this one. To this day I can still recall vowing not to step foot in Magic Kingdom until it was gone, I didn't either because.. well just look at it!

2.  The Magical World of Barbie
(As I called it "Barbie Does Epcot")
No. I'm Not Kidding.This shit was REAL. I remember it, I remember being mildly horrified by it.
In 1994 Barbie became the "Friendship Ambassador" of Epcot Center and the bimbo got a series of dolls and her own damn show at American Adventure. Why? We don't have a clue but I'd be willing to bet all my "good" alcohol on the fact Mattel had sponsorship with Disney World and according to some rumors was in contract to give the broad her own show (according to Walt Dated World).  This show was a little girls nightmare come true. Fireworks, Birds, Bad 80s-90s fashion and a pink limo for those must have family photos!

3. Epcot's "People of the World" Dolls.
(As I once said "Incomprehensible SCREECH!")
Image from
Holy Shit. These damn things. I HATED these things, they scared the ever-lovin' hell out of me as a small child. Imagine an 8 foot doll, they walked, they hugged, they BLINKED and LOOKED AT YOU. No, I'm not kidding these things could WATCH you.
In the early years of Epcot these 'Giant Dolls' where dressed as People of the World and wondered about World Showcase shortly after opening in 1982. They didn't last very long, probably due to the fact they terrified both kids and adults! I have a picture someplace of my young toddler self entirely terrorized by one of these things.

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